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Who knew the Mayans were actually predicting the death of my blogging muse??

Merp.  Yesterday found me having lunch with some of my very favourite people on the planet – all of them fellow bloggers, it just so happens.  I told them I had lost my blogging mojo and that all I felt like blogging was a giant *raspberry*.  They thought that was funny and told me to do it – clearly, this was a liquid lunch, because it wasn’t actually all that hilarious.  It does speak to my state of mind lately, however.  I got nothin’.

I missed the whole New Years’ Resolutions thing by winging away to the Big Apple (which was awesome, btw). And then I got the gak.  (To which, I thank all the flu shot recipients out there.  I am convinced you’re all carriers and will one day – thanks to karma – turn into zombies.  Ever seen “I Am Legend”?)  And then my soulmate left on a 12 day international business trip.  As we are now only at day 6, I am still a little gutted.  So, there you have it.  My lame-ass excuses guilty explanations incoherent reasons for being absent.

I actually have lots of things I’d like to say, but no energy/will/umph to frame it all properly to “put it out there”…. ie I lost my muse.  Thank you, Mayans.  With the exception of a few Weekly Wants and a bunch of photos, the only post I’ve managed since the “end” of the Mayan calendar, is a birthday post to my Dad, who probably was my very first muse.

So, let’s just throw some thoughts out there.  Thoughts that perhaps I will elaborate on at a later date.  Thoughts that make my head whirl.  Thoughts that my Dad would have straightened out in a second.  My hope is that if I write this rambler of a post (a la NaNoWriMo), it will at the very least get me blogging again.  Here goes nothin’….

  1. I have received several blogging awards from different sources (2 from my friends at Flora’s Table!) and need to write a post.  I love/hate the whole award thing, but my take on them involves expressing gratitude at the very least – in the form of a post – to honour the blogger who thought enough of me to honour me with the award.
  2. Mama bear stuff.  I have NEVER been good about being a bystander and think very little of them, in fact. However, sometimes you just have to let the chips fall where they may.  My involvement hasn’t always resolved issues as perfectly as my non-involvement would have.  Who knew?  Now, I don’t know where my line is.  A first for me.
  3. Chloe and I are documentary crazy and “Vegucated” came highly recommended by friend and fellow blogger, whiskeytangofoxtrot4.  I watched it Monday and now feel like being a vegetarian isn’t enough.  My respect and admiration for vegans is out of this world.  What about cheese though???
  4. Alone time vs. social time….  I haven’t found my balance yet.  My NYC BFF, Ginnie, is the consummate wife, mother, designer, decorator, artist, you name it. She finds the time to make everything on her property look beautiful, taste good and/or be clean, organized & perfect.  I used to be closer to that than I am now and the simple reason is that I hang out with my friends when I should be getting sh*t done.  Again, a balance thing.
  5. I have a _____ thing brewing.  Major plans. I know what needs to be done.  Now I just need to get the ball rolling.  Only problem?  Where to begin.
  6. Death.  Yep.  I said it.  I keep thinking about one day this all ending.  It’s not really a big leap as to why I’m thinking about it.  I still haven’t finished sorting through my Mom’s belongings in the garage.  With two parents gone, in my family at least, my generation’s next.
  7. Peace.  My friend, Kozo, has organized a beautiful project here in the blogosphere and I haven’t even joined yet.  Fact is, I’m not sure what I’m doing on here at the moment.
  8. This crazy neighbourhood.  For which I am simultaneously thankful to live in and wish I had never moved into.  It is beautiful and safe and (mostly) friendly.  It is also vain, pretentious and filled with sheep (of the human variety, to be clear.  I don’t live in a farming community!).  On a good day, I think of converting Chloe’s room (once she’s gone – I’m not re-locating her!) into a beautiful sleeping loft for all our future grandchildren to pile into.  On a bad day, I want to sell (right NOW!) and get the hell out of Dodge.  A condo downtown perhaps? A B&B in Tuscany, you say?  A year in Paris perhaps?  Sign.  Me.  Up.
  9. Expressing gratitude.  Once again, my friend, Kozo, has it all going on.  I really am so blessed and so thankful and, more than anything, so happy to have this life.  My life.  I give thanks for all of you who have made it this far and some of you who haven’t!

That’s it.  I’ll grapple my way through.  Glenn coming home next week will set everything to rights, I have no doubt. It is a blessing to find your soulmate and an agony to be parted from them.  I have gotten used to it over the years, but still don’t care for it much.  Oh, that’s another thought!!  This October is Glenn’s 50th and our 25th anniversary.  Too many thoughts!!!  Peace out.  s.

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9 thoughts on “Who knew the Mayans were actually predicting the death of my blogging muse??

  1. Sarah,
    I love this post. I love the honesty, the excitement (a ___thing brewing), the gratitude, and the intention. Just remember that whatever you do, we are here to support you, even if you post a “raspberry.”
    Don’t worry about joining B4Peace; you already have. This is a wonderful post on peace of mind. {{{Hug}}} Kozo

  2. BAZINNNNNGA! Love it! Fucking sheep and all…. THHHHHHHHHHPPPPPPPPP! that’s a razzpberry !! Don’t worry sistah you will get back in the saddle. there are no rules to blogging. say what you want when you want! Go with the flow baby! Love you like the sun. ( ps. I think you are starting to sound alot like me! I put a for sale sign up mentally in my head once a month)! xoxoxOOx

  3. As Austin Powers would say, you lost your mojo. So what? You’ll get it back when the time is right. When Glenn is back, when you’ll figure the mama bear stuff out (that must be a nightmare), when you’ll finish going throught your mommy’s belonging, when you’ll find you balance wherever it is. Take your time. There is no rush. Just listen to your soul.
    I’m going to say something that I know I shouldn’t but…what the heck! Blogging is much more than waking up in the morning, publishing a post and check the box “published” at the end of the day. When you write a post, you are opening the door to your readers to something that you consider worth of sharing, sometimes even a little piece of yourself. That requires a huge peace of mind. Find yours again and keep sharing your thoughts with us. We’ll be here waiting for you. We are not going anywhere without you.
    Have a wonderful weekend.
    Francesca
    P.S. Forget about the awards. Personally speaking, your post is worth a thousand awards.

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